Some of the physical symptoms associated with stress and grief include:

• increased physical pain
• physical exhaustion or extreme fatigue
• cognitive effects (“grief brain”)
• elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol
• sleep disturbances
• lower immune response
• elevated blood pressure and heart rate

This is where being held can help.

A massage that takes into account the physical, mental and emotional realities of grieving can:

• provide relief for body pain
• lower cortisol and stress levels
• ease sleep disturbances
• provide a kind human connection
• create a safe, private space to collapse and rest
• become a part of important self-nourishment

Massages are 90 minutes long and are tailored to the person and what’s needed in the moment. A Held massage is gentle, comforting, and steady. We do not use deep tissue or uncomfortable techniques that are better suited for therapeutic or medical massage. The experience is like being held in a warm cocoon or a peaceful eye of a hurricane. This is not for people who want a massage that hurts.

Multi-sensory nourishment comes with every massage: heat and warm towels, weighted blankets, light and dark, music and sound, aromatherapy, optional rose foot baths, hot tea and sweet things to eat. Each of these elements is combined to create an opportunity to leave everything behind and receive comfort and care.

We are a therapeutic massage practice committed to creating safe space for all. As such, any form of sexual conversation or behavior is neither welcome nor tolerated here.

Yes, you are absolutely welcome.

While shorter massage sessions are helpful for creating some outcomes, over the years we've found that a full 90 minutes is critical for our goal of creating the full unwinding experience and settling into a parasympathetic state of deep relaxation.

You need this time. After 30 minutes on a massage table, most of us are still mentally reviewing their day or unconsciously deciding if they are safe with their therapist. It's normal!

We need this time. Our technique is gradual and steady. We create a unique and nurturing experience with our presence, our words, and massage tools and techniques.

Simply put, this form of care cannot be rushed. You deserve this time.

If this isn't the moment to let grief wash over you and crack you open... I bless and honor that truth.

Sometimes people come to Held afraid that the work we do might open up wounds that are only-just-barely held together. Perhaps there are children or a life or work required to pay the bills, and "I just HAVE to keep it together right now." That's real.

Some of us live with an ocean of grief just below the surface, and we fear that it will drown us and everything we love if it breeches the levy. The word "afraid" doesn't do this justice. People come to me with abject terror of feeling their grief's full force.

While I know that grief will have its say, must be given a seat at the table, must be eventually offered relationship with us rather than exiled, stuffed down, choked out...

It is also true that no right relationship can be forced. No true unfolding may be hurried along. The raw, sad and desperately scared parts of us won't go anywhere when we ignore them, so that means... there's absolutely no rush.

When you are ready, love will always be waiting.
This is totally your choice.
When you are willing to dive into dark waters, a life preserver will be there. That's how Grace works.
When you decide that the promise of healing is worth its cost, the Universe or God/Goddess or Source will be there, waiting to bless your tears.
I'll be here to companion you. You will not drown, dear heart.

Come for a massage now, later, anytime.
Come just because your body is weary.
Because your mind needs respite.
Because your heart is aching.

Whatever stage of healing you find yourself, you are welcome. I'll meet you wherever you are at this very moment, and never insist you be anything different.

Yes, we work with men!

Our branding is warm and, admittedly full of pink and purple. 💜💕 We prioritize the truth of the heart as well as the body. Feelings matter. We allow, give permission, rest, nourish, nurture and soothe. The approach is all feminine, inspired by the sacred Feminine and aligned in its service. 🌀🙏🏻

💆🏻‍♂️ This work MUST include men. The men who come here often shoulder the responsibility of life and many loved ones. They are holding the world together in ways that complement their partner's work, but their heartache can go unnamed or unnoticed. Yet these men have lost, hurt and struggled just like the rest of their families.

All healing begins with grieving. We grieve anytime that we lose something we love, or when we don’t get to live life the way we hoped or planned, or are faced with a situation that hurts and can’t be fixed. In that way, grief is inevitable for us all.

It’s important to claim the right to grieve your losses. Gravity is a natural law, and grief is a natural law where everything changes and eventually everything dies. To deny this is like denying gravity.

People come to me when they’re going through all sorts of experiences, in addition to death and bereavement:

• Divorce, marital separation, or a break-up
• Pregnancy loss or miscarriage
• Postpartum depression or anxiety
• Infertility
• Healing from trauma or abuse
• Caregivers of chronically/terminally ill people
• Those recovering from addiction, or family members of those with addiction
• Parents of children with special needs
• Financial or personal trauma
• Leaving one stage of life and entering the next
• Job loss or the end of a career
• The loss of a pet
• Loss of an important friendship
• And many other losses and changes.

Yes, and yes. I’m so incredibly sorry that this has happened. Maybe your heart is completely broken. Maybe you feel numb, or exhausted and depleted. Grieving is incredibly hard work. Coping with all of the losses after a death takes years, and leaves no part of one’s life untouched. I see you, I hear you, and I welcome you.

If a massage sounds like a supportive thing right now, we will make the process very simple and straight forward. In the early times of grief, it can take all of our energy just to get out of the house and do one “normal” thing. Wearing a mask of ok-ness and “staying strong” takes a toll.

I’d be honored to hold space for you right now. A massage is a very small thing, and it will fix nothing. But here’s what we do specifically in the early bereavement times:

• I’ll provide very clear and welcoming instructions on what we’re doing, where you need to be, and when.
• You can choose to remain dressed to your comfort level.
• We will tailor your massage to what you need in that hour, that day. This is all about you.
• I will not massage parts of the body that tend to “hold emotion” and can instead focus on “grief safe” areas.
• Our space is private and sacred. You can speak as little or as much as you’d like. You can cry or not cry; I’m comfortable with tears and with silence. I will not ask questions about what’s happening, or give advice, coaching or counseling.
• You will leave with a list of resources and suggestions of other places to go for support. In this way, a massage can be an entry way into a whole network or web of support.
• We honor that everyone is different, and everyone’s process is unique. Neither life nor grief are linear and you don't have to "get" anywhere.

All massage experiences at Held stay within the licensed New Jersey Massage Therapists and Bodyworkers scope of practice. That means that we focus on muscles and relaxation. We don’t work in a way that elicits, triggers or stimulates any specific emotional response or experience.

Some people have emotional releases during or after a massage, some people don’t. Both are normal. Occasionally people report a “shift” of some sort that happened during or after a massage, some people don’t. Both are normal, and we will be glad to offer resources for emotional counseling and support if something emerges naturally during a massage session.

Many people find that coming on a regular basis during a period of loss or change (weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly as you are able) provides the most relief.

Coming once will give you immediate physical relaxation, mental and emotional relief.

Coming regularly compounds the positive physiological effects. Your mind settles more readily each time, and you receive transformative healing through committed companionship.

At what point should I come?

Massage can be especially helpful a little while after the loss - after everyone else has gone home and back to their lives, and you are still feeling the pain.

Consider pre-booking a massage for days in the future that you anticipate will be ideal for self-care: for example, around important holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries.

When you come for a first visit, we will discuss what schedule will be most supportive for you.